Breaking infertility stigma: Break the silence and shame - Jokpeme Joseph Omode

 Breaking infertility stigma starts with having the right knowledge through education and understanding. It's important for couples to know that they are not alone. Breaking infertility stigma means challenging the silence, shame, and misinformation that often surround the topic — and replacing them with understanding, compassion, and accurate knowledge. In my country Nigeria and many other countries, too many suffer in silence because of shame, myths, and hurtful words. Infertility is not a woman’s problem alone — it’s a shared health issue that needs shared understanding. Accurate knowledge is the first step toward compassion and effective solutions. 

The reality of infertility that you should know and think about:

Infertility is defined as the inability to achieve pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular, unprotected intercourse. It affects both men and women equally — yet, the burden of blame falls disproportionately on women.

Many still believe infertility is a “woman’s issue,” or worse, a punishment for past sins. This misconception not only fuels stigma but delays diagnosis and treatment for men, whose infertility is just as common and treatable.

The truth is clear: infertility is a medical condition — not a curse, not a punishment, and certainly not a measure of worth.

The pain of infertility is not just about the absence of a child. It’s about the crushing social pressure, the unsolicited questions (“When will you give us a baby?”), and the unsolicited advice that often blames rather than supports.

Couples may withdraw from social gatherings to avoid judgment. Women are sometimes subjected to insults from in-laws or even abandonment in marriage. Men, too, hide their struggles for fear of being seen as “less manly.”

This emotional isolation can lead to depression, anxiety, and in some cases, the breakdown of relationships.

Understanding the Causes of Infertility

Infertility is a medical condition that can affect both men and women. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), it is the inability to achieve pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse.

Globally, infertility is linked equally to male and female factors. 

Common medical reasons for infertility in women include:

1. Ovulation Disorders – such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) or hormonal imbalances.

2. Fallopian Tube Damage or Blockage – often from infections like pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or endometriosis.

3. Uterine Conditions – fibroids, polyps, or structural abnormalities.

4. Age-Related Decline – fertility naturally decreases after the mid-30s due to lower egg quality and quantity.

Common medical reasons for infertility in men include:

1. Low Sperm Count – reduced number of sperm in semen.

2. Poor Sperm Motility or Shape – sperm cannot move effectively or are abnormally formed.

3. Hormonal Disorders – affecting testosterone and sperm production.

4. Blockages in the Reproductive Tract – preventing sperm from mixing with semen.

5. Genetic Conditions – such as Klinefelter syndrome.

Lifestyle And Environmental Factors Can Cause Infertility

Both men and women can be affected by:

1. Smoking and excessive alcohol consumption.

2. Poor diet and obesity.

3. Extreme stress.

4. Exposure to toxins (pesticides, heavy metals, radiation).

5. Certain medications or medical treatments (chemotherapy, radiation therapy).

"Infertility should never be treated as a taboo or a private family failure."

Keeping it hidden only deepens the pain, fuels myths, and delays help. When we act like infertility is a shameful secret, we allow stigma to thrive.

Infertility is a medical condition — it belongs in open conversations, just like diabetes or hypertension. Discussing it openly:

1. Helps people find support sooner.

2. Educates communities on real causes and treatments.

3. Breaks generational cycles of silence and blame.

We must create an environment where couples can speak about their struggles without fear of judgment, gossip, or pity — because healing begins with honesty.

Why breaking infertility stigma matters

Ending infertility stigma is not only a matter of kindness — it’s a matter of public health. When couples feel safe to speak openly, they are more likely to seek timely medical care, improving chances of treatment success.

By breaking the silence, we also:

1. Educate society about the real causes and solutions.

2. Promote gender equity, recognizing that infertility is not solely a woman’s burden.

3. Reduce mental health struggles linked to isolation and shame.

To anyone that is suffering in shame and silence, let not your heart be broken and don't worry too much because:

💔 Infertility is NOT a curse.

💔 It is NOT only a woman’s issue.

💔 It does NOT define your worth.

It is a medical condition that can affect both men and women. The stigma hurts more than the diagnosis and most people I have seen passing through this experience avoid family events to escape judgment. Women are labeled “barren” and shamed.Men hide in silence for fear of being seen as “less manly.”

We can change this and contribute in helping when we do the following :

✅ Speak with kindness — stop asking couples “When will you have children?”

✅ Share facts — infertility has many medical causes, not moral ones.

✅ Create safe spaces — in families, workplaces, and faith communities.

✅ Support access to treatment for everyone.

To anyone struggling: You are not alone. You are not broken. Your life has meaning and value beyond parenthood. If you are walking this road, please know: you are not alone, you are not broken, and you are not defined by your ability to have children. Your worth is immeasurable, and your story deserves to be heard without shame.

Hope comes in many forms — through medical treatment, adoption, surrogacy, fostering, or choosing a child-free life. Whatever your path, it is valid and worthy of respect.

Steps We Can All Take 

1. Change the Conversation

Stop asking couples when they will have children. Instead, offer support without assumptions. Replace harmful labels like “barren” with compassionate, respectful language.

2. Educate Yourself and Others

Learn that infertility can result from many medical conditions — from hormonal imbalances to blocked fallopian tubes to low sperm count. Understanding this helps replace judgment with empathy.

3. Create Safe Spaces

Whether in workplaces, faith communities, or families, make it clear that people can speak about infertility without fear of gossip or ridicule.

4. Support Treatment Access

Advocate for more affordable fertility treatments and for insurance or government subsidies. Infertility should not be a condition only the wealthy can address.

5. Replace judgmental terms (“barren,” “unfruitful”) with respectful, neutral words.

6. Avoid invasive or pressuring questions like “When are you having kids?”

Recognize diverse paths to parenthood — IVF, surrogacy, adoption, foster care, or choosing to live child-free. 

7. Promote counseling and peer support groups.

8. Encourage employers to provide flexible schedules for treatment and recovery.

Include men in the emotional conversation — male infertility is often overlooked.

9. Engage Influencers, Leaders, and Faith Communities. Have respected figures speak openly about infertility to shift cultural perceptions. Train religious and community leaders to offer supportive, non-judgmental guidance. 

10. Use Media to Change Narratives. Portray infertility and treatment journeys in films, TV shows, and news stories without stereotypes.Partner with health organizations for awareness campaigns, especially during World Infertility Awareness Month (June).

We Can Take Bold Action In Breaking Infertility Stigma 

It’s time for our communities to replace silence with solidarity, myths with medical facts, and judgment with compassion. Infertility is not a personal failure — the real failure is a society that shames people for circumstances beyond their control.

When we speak openly, when we listen without judgment, and when we stand together, we break more than stigma. We break the chains of isolation and give people back the dignity they deserve.

Let’s make “Hope is Not Silent” more than a slogan. Let’s make it our shared commitment.

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• Jokpeme Joseph Omode is the Editor-in-Chief of Alexa News Nigeria (Alexa.ng), where he leads with vision, integrity, and a passion for impactful storytelling. With years of experience in journalism and media leadership, Joseph has positioned Alexa News Nigeria as a trusted platform for credible and timely reporting.
  
  
  He oversees the editorial strategy, guiding a dynamic team of reporters and content creators to deliver stories that inform, empower, and inspire. His leadership emphasizes accuracy, fairness, and innovation, ensuring that the platform thrives in today’s fast-changing digital landscape.
  
  
  Under his direction, Alexa News Nigeria has become a strong voice on governance, education, youth empowerment, entrepreneurship, and sustainable development. Joseph is deeply committed to using journalism as a tool for accountability and progress, while also mentoring young journalists and nurturing new talent.
  
  
  Through his work, he continues to strengthen public trust and amplify voices that shape a better future. Joseph Omode is a multifaceted professional with over a decade years of diverse experience spanning media, brand strategy and development, public relations and reputation management, communication and media relations, content creation, design and visual branding.His career spans various industries, including hospitality management, oil and gas, education, and community development, demonstrating his versatility and ability to adapt his skills to different challenges. His career, marked by adaptability, continuous learning, and a dedication to creating meaningful change, positions him as a forward-thinking person equipped to drive innovation and impact across sectors.